Parents.

Talking to Your Child About Alcohol, Drugs and Gambling

Every parent knows it’s important to talk with their kids about these topics. It comes along with those other heavy discussions such as sex, relationships and keeping yourself safe. While it’s important to do, it can also be very difficult. When do I start talking about drugs? What do I say? How do I respond? What if I’m asked something I don’t know? What if I don’t like what my child has to tell me?

These are all real questions that many parents may have when it comes to talking to their kids about alcohol, other drugs and gambling.

The following are some points to remember before you begin discussions with your child:

Think it Through

What are your thoughts, feelings, opinions and beliefs about drug use or gambling?  Many parents agree that it’s perfectly fine for adults to drink but draw the line when it comes to alcohol use by underage teens or children. Some think it’s not okay for children but believe it’s normal and expected for teenagers to experiment with alcohol or gambling.  Parents need to be clear on where they stand on their child’s alcohol, other drug use and gambling. 

Much of the research suggests that the earlier a young person begins using alcohol, other drugs or gambling, the greater the risks of developing problems.  What you believe can influence what you say or how you say it. It is important to be clear on where you stand.

We’ve often heard the phrase “actions speak louder than words.” The same can be said for alcohol, drug use or gambling. We are our child’s greatest role models and they look to our behavior for guidance. While many parents may choose to use alcohol or gamble on a social or casual basis, it is important to be aware of the messages that heavy or problem alcohol, drug use and gambling can relay to our children.

It’s a Marathon, Not a 100-Metre Dash

Talking to our kids about drugs is not just a one-time event.

It’s best to look at it as something that happens over a period of time by little talks, discussions or questions that arise on a day-to-day basis. In order to actually communicate with our children about drugs or gambling, it is important that we first have a relationship that allows for open communication.

Many parents talk to their children on a daily basis about what’s happening at school, their interests and activities, and how things are going with their friends. Before starting to talk about heavier topics such as drug use, it’s important to have open lines of communication with our children. Kids will be much more receptive to talk and listen if they feel we are interested and involved in other areas of their lives.

We all know how important it is to spend time with our children and become involved in their daily lives. While our time is precious, it’s important to remember that the time we spend is an investment in our children’s lives. It allows us to deepen our relationship and help our kids understand that we are interested in them, who they are, their friends, what they do, and how they feel.

Spending quality time with your child will allow for opportunities for you and your child to ask questions and have discussions. Many of these can touch on some of more touchy subjects like drug use or gambling. Use opportunities to talk about your child’s ideas and opinions while at the same time share your thoughts and feelings. Having conversations about drug use that are more natural and fit within day to day communication may be easier than having your child sit down for that ‘big long talk’.

Listen and Learn

Sometimes we forget the basics of communication. It’s not all about talking but a balance of listening and responding.

Ask questions about what your child tells you, use appropriate body language, and repeat back key ideas or phrases. Don’t interrupt and try to really listen despite being a little apprehensive about how to respond. You don’t need to offer advice to everything that is said. Sometimes it’s enough to let your child know that you have heard what they said.

As much as you might not want your child to use alcohol, other drugs or gamble, it’s important to resist the urge of preaching.

It’s best to have a conversation with your child and be respectful of their opinions and ideas. Using threats such as ‘you better not or else…’ might be tempting, but it can backfire as kids try to resist demands, test limits or call their parent’s threats a bluff. Try to let your child know that you are interested in talking with them and hearing their opinions. This allows parents to respect what your child has to say while being firm in your own expectations and rules.

If your child feels he or she can talk about difficult topics without a big argument or lecture, he or she may be more willing to talk about these things in the future. 

Walking the Tightrope

In discussing drugs and gambling with your child, it’s useful to acknowledge the reasons why people use drugs and the purposes this might serve.

Balance the discussion of the positives and negatives associated with use. There are things that attract kids to drugs and gambling and it’s important to balance this discussion with the negative consequences and risks.

In any decision we make, we have to weigh out the pros and cons. By fully discussing all of these, parents can help support their children in positive decision making.

Be Concrete!

Kids don’t respond so well to messages like “don’t smoke because it may give you lung cancer” or “alcohol can cause liver problems. “

When discussing drugs with kids, remember to describe risks and consequences in short-term immediate harms.

Describe concrete examples such as the risk of losing control in front of your friends, getting sick, being broke, and/or the possibility of drugs or alcohol causing arguments with friends, dating partners, or siblings. By keeping these points in mind – you can better prepare yourself for approaching this subject. Don’t worry – you might not always respond the way you would like but the fact that you’re attempting to communicate will send a powerful message to your child and help keep the lines of communication wide open.